Yesterday, Sheryl Sandberg wrote a moving piece (posted on her facebook page) about her loss. Sheryl’s husband passed away unexpectedly and suddenly one month ago. In her post she talks about her grieving process quite openly and movingly. While no two people grieve in the same way, other’s grief can also look surprisingly familiar. Sheryl so beautifully expresses her pain of a future different than the one she had envisioned; about mourning “option A”.
“I was talking to (a friend) about a father-child activity that Dave is not here to do. We came up with a plan to fill in for Dave. I cried to him, “But I want Dave. I want option A.” …
And even though sheloshim has ended, I still mourn for option A. I will always mourn for option A. As Bono sang, “There is no end to grief . . . and there is no end to love.” ”
While our grief is of a different nature, those of us living with chronic conditions all to well understand the despair of loosing “option A.” Some days are harder than others, and I have often wondered when I would learn acceptance; to be free of mourning option A. Today I realize I will never be free from that mourning, that loss. Time will ease the pain, as life brings new and unimagined options in it’s place, but there will always be moments when I think with anger, sadness, or even numbness about option A.
My heart goes out to Sheryl and her family. May the moments you find peace and happiness get you through the hard ones.